So what will I do?
Monday I am scheduled to return to work – at a new school under a new administration – and with the idea that we may only work through October under the old contract. Those are good /bad things. Have a job, will get a few paychecks & with the grace of God will have a new contract that is not as fiscally death gripping as the one formerly proposed last week. (my fingers are crossed!) The new Admin is filled with enthusiasm and interest in a well-run school – I like that a lot! I know I liked the consulting position when I did it previously - working with another teacher – and it should be good – because the people there are chosen good teachers.
So – if my stuff is still at the other school – I will get my things and transfer it all to the new building and have a new place to call home. We only work for four days and then we are four off and finally the students start on the day after Labor Day – state law!
But the bigger problem, and the one I was sure I would have solved this summer when I thought I had so much time to do it and taken care of, is still in limbo! This is not good! This is very bad! And all the feelers and speculations and hopes are only that – no tangible results as of yet! Who will stay with hubby while I am at work? Watching the changes that have taken place this summer has been hard. He is slower and now sleeping a lot! We have been through two doctors this summer – one who set him back about three months by playing with the drugs and the other who is attempting to help- but right now it seems to be making him less independent on a daily basis!
“All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope” St. Augustine
Sooo – the phone rings at 3:30pm and the HR lady says you are assigned to “the same school I was at last year!” Oh no! Oh no!
I say – I thought I was at “the new school”.
“Who told you?”
“The principal of the school! I signed the form to be there!”
“Oh! Well you need to speak with so and so- but she isn’t at her desk and you can call this number and ask her to forward you to the correct person.”
“OK”
“And call the school and see if you are on the teacher roster for the school that you ar currently assigned to! Do you have the number?”
“OK”
“Now be sure to call and I will call the school you think you should be at! OK?”
“OK”
So I call and get the machine of death! – "please call this #" and so I call that # and get a message – "unavailable at this time – leave a message or wait for the operator" – who never comes but rather a recording telling me – "thank you" and disconnects me!
OK – try this again – and leave a message on the first line! So I try calling each of the schools to see if I can speak to anyone – no machine voice after machine voice as I am transferred until I am once again thanked and disconnected! What the ??
Then call around to see if any other teachers has this happening. Get a suggestion to send an email to the principal at the school I thought I was suppose to go to.
Write the email explaining the situation and asking for clarification --- send it out and then call back a fellow teacher. She has the cell for the principal. So I thank her and then call the principal who has just read the email and is already calling the woman I could not get in the first place – and telling me - "it is taken care of – see you Monday!"
Call back the teacher and let her know it worked and I should see her Monday!
OK.
That is done and I can breathe once again. Then I hear the mail truck and hubby goes out and brings in a letter from HR telling me the same thing – I am assigned to the former building under a new principal – so if the mail had come earlier I would have dealt with this – but that’s not how it went down. It’s OK! Right? It’s over for the moment and gives me one less thing to stress over.
But we are back to before the call from HR. Hubby called the son to see if he was available to help out next week – (We had two friends who gave up great amount of time to help out last year and I knew it wouldn't last) one friend gone (feeling the need to be elsewhere and needed at home) - the other has left for NY because his older brother is not doing well and not expected to last long.
So we are friendless for him- in terms of a caregiver. No swimming yesterday- because of the family emergency that arose Wednesday evening for his buddy.
We are accepting- we are caring and telling them we understand – because we really do! We are just stymied about what to do!
I tell him I will take him to school if I need to- he says he will sit in the car – oh no! He tries to think of what to do and offers several scenarios – six months ago – they might have worked!
We are not there anymore! We are in a new place –I say we are being beaten by the disease- he says we are racing it! I know we are racing it – but we aren’t keeping even yet! We are a little behind and trying like anything to catch up! He tells me not to feel bad – I have done more than anyone would expect – I feel like I should of and could have done more – I just don’t know when or how – realistically.
I budgeted and discovered if we don’t eat I can afford to have someone help – what a crock! After all these years of working and all this education and all these abilities I can’t make enough to take care of us. If it was next year I could retire early and get SS and retirement $$ and stay home and take care of him – we would get by! But I can’t tap those resources until next summer and I can’t get by with no benies and no income – we can’t live in a grand a month! We could never afford all the doctors and meds he takes without some help!
There has to other ways I can make money and stay at home with him!
I can write – all types of writing - especially with an editor and proofer
Create teaching materials
Edit video
Edit newsletters
Edit/layout of tons of periodicals or paperwork –posters, cards and such!
Have some artistic abilities – drawing- painting- designing
These would be things I could do at home and still take care of him and keep him active and not malingering! We could take classes at the senior center together and maybe get him into painting- drawing and guitar lessons.
I just hate to see his physical get so worn down. It wears on his emotional as well!
We need to get to the store and he wants to sleep – he is using sleep to deal with all this – I would enjoy being able to do that too.
There must be someone who needs a multi-talented person like myself and is willing to pay me enough to stay home – too bad there is no help from the insurance company or the plans that have been proposed to the government to help keep people at home and not institutionalized. They want me to give up on him and place him somewhere I wouldn’t want anyone to be. It’s not that nursing homes aren’t needed – it’s just that they really don’t take care of the whole person. Warehousing of the elderly is how I see them too often. They can’t have changed much from when my mom was in one for a minute! And she was in better shape than my husband.
Sooooooo… I wait and hope. Put out the calls and try to rack the brain for a legitimate way of dealing with all this.
Too far for son- he is busy working once again – Yeah! If only he could be dropped off at their house they would help – that means getting up at 3:00 am and dropping him off at 6:30 am and then picking him up at 3:30 pm and getting home at 5:00pm and not being able to do much else. Himself offered that he could spend the night there – and my question – who will help you out of bed? Who will wash the linens and change you once or twice in the night? We can’t ask that of the kids in addition to having you around during the day and feeding and helping during that time.
He has gotten to a point where he needs more help than they would feel comfortable doing. Maybe the frail elderly placement is finally right for him at the senior center. We just need an infusion of money – what did the government offer – a stimulus package to help defray the costs would be wonderful! I’ m here Lord!
Wait and hope! Wait and believe that I can be part of a miracle and it will be better than OK- because we deserve better than merely OK. I anticipate great things and great moments and will settle for nothing less. I am looking for help and open to suggestions!
Always something – there is an answer – I just haven’t found it yet!
Peace Love and Harmony
